Men's Room Adventure

A few months ago, we had a chance to visit with my brother for a short time as he was on his way from Portland to Pendleton. We loaded up the kids, diaper bags, snacks, portable DVD players, and anything else we thought we might need and headed down to P-Town for the day.

After an enjoyable reunion, dinner, and trip to the carousel at the mall (which only runs on the weekends, and this was a Thursday), we decided that the next best thing would be to ride the escalators at Target and let the girls run around a little.

Fun ensued, interrupted by Lucy exclaiming, "I have to go to the bathroom!" We rushed downstairs to the only womens bathroom in the store to find it closed for cleaning. Not just a sign on the door--the cleaning cart was blocking the entrance. What's a mom to do?

You guessed it: into the men's room we go! I was very polite and gave plenty of warning: "Anybody in here?" (pause to listen) "Okay, I'm coming in with a 5 year-old, 4 year-old, and a baby. Speak now, or zip it up, cause we're coming in!" And we rushed in there like we were on fire.

To those who've never ventured into the hallowed place that is the men's restroom, I have two observations: First, there are a lot more places for men to pee than for women. Why is this? Women by nature pee longer and more often than men, and I'm not even considering the elderly, the pregnant, or the ones who drink too much water. Shouldn't we have twice as many toilets as the boys? Second, do men really need urinals? They can accomplish the same task with a toilet, so why not just put in all toilets, and make the bathrooms unisex? (Other than the fact that this goes against tradition and social etiquette.)

But I digress. I showed Lucy to the stall, with the admonishment to hurry up. Sadie was asleep in the front pack--no worries there--and I told my niece that her eyes better be looking at my shoes at all times or else. I was facing the far wall, my back to the door.

The door opens and I say, "We'll be right out, my little girl had to go, and the women's room was closed." "No problem." is the response and the door closes again. A few seconds later, the door opens again, and I launch into my previous explanation. I did get a response, although it wasn't what I thought it would be. I hear four footsteps, a zipper being unzipped, and the sound of a steady stream hitting porcelain. First of all--EWW. Second, how am I going to get out of here if Lucy gets done before he does?

Alas, I needn't have worried. Before I knew it, the zipper was zipped up, and the guy left--without washing his hands.